Weeeeeeeeeee!

No crazy or exciting excursions for the infant just yet, but little Sawyer has been smiling a squealing up a storm these days showing off her stronger neck, legs and lungs.

Book it!

Books have always been a big deal for Ms. E and are key to the nap time and bedtime rituals, but as she's starting to memorize the classics... we're feeling the need to refresh more frequently.

E loves zipping down to the Minneapolis Public Library and jamming her backpack full of "new ones".

Sesame Street Live

In what was likely the first of many muppet/cartoon themed outings to come, Linds and I took E into the big city to Sesame Street Live (Target Center) last weekend.

Ev's bouncing-off-the-walls pre-show excitement was absolutely priceless. E was absolutely beside herself as each larger-than-live character made their initial appearances on stage.

Her falling asleep 15 minutes into the show... well, that wasn't exactly as planned!

Dog days of winter

G & M are no doubt MN dogs... soaking up the fun outside in whatever Mother Nature sends our way. Sure, the spring to fall weekend swims in the Mississippi are a little slice of heaven... but in the winter months, life doesn't get much better for G & M than bounding through the snow on frozen Lake Harriet.

11 Step Program for Those Thinking of Having Kids

Wish I could claim authorship here, but this thing has been all over facebook and email forwards.

Regardless, it seems awfully blog-worthy considering that it pretty much sums up life for the Backer family these days…

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

• Methods of discipline.
• Lack of patience.
• Appallingly low tolerance levels.
• Allowing their children to run wild.
• Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems…

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

1. Go to the local grocery store.
2. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat.
3. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

1. Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon.
2. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years.

I know, you're thinking, “What's 'Noggin'?”. Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

1. Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required).
2. Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above.

You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

3 months

Sawyer Rose hit the three month mark yesterday!

S is still working on perfecting that hand-to-mouth coordination and is now much more frequently melting Mom and Dad with her enormous smiles (Linds always says, "I love how Sawyer smiles with her eyes!"). As for her "new tricks", Sawyer's legs and neck are getting stronger and stronger so she's loving time sitting upright in the Boppy, standing (with a little help from Mom or Dad) and spinning around on her back in her crib.

Fav-wise, Sawyer's teachers say that she LOVES watching all the "big kids" play in her daycare room and will squawk and squeal for hours from the sidelines. S has learned to love her "paci" at school as well... a wonderful crutch when "popping out a boob" isn't an immediate option!

22 months

A bit overdue (adjusting to life with both Linds and I back to work has been... well, quite an adjustment), but here's EJB's 22 month update. I could write a novel on this kid's enormous personality and growth lately, but sticking to the "template"...

A few of Evie's latest tricks include:

• An exponentially growing vocabulary... and stringing words into sentences and sentences into stories (in fact, this morning E ran into our room and said, "Evie get out big girl bed see Mommy.
• Negotiating (when Dad's orders aren't to her liking, E will say "no, deal Daddy, deal" meaning "No, actually, I won't be cleaning my plate but if you try asking me to just eat two more bites I may hear you out")
• ABCs, counting to 11, singing the classics ('Ba-Ba Black Sheep', 'Pat-A-Cake', etc.)

A few of Evie's latest favorite things include:

• Sesame Street
• Reading 'Brontorina' (the orange, dancing dinosaur)
• Listening to her music in the car (the days of listening to KFAN on the morning commute are over)
• Dancing her fanny off after baths (Gaga's 'Poker Face' and Polka Boy's 'Drink Some Beer' are her two most common requests)
• Saying "No, EVIE do it!" and taking over nearly every task Linds and I try to help with